IMG_7120.JPGWhat are Foobs? It’s what cancer patients call their fake boobs. To foob or not to foob…

I have been saying for months now that the only reconstruction option I was interested in regarding “breasts” would be a procedure using my own tissue. That I did not want a foreign object in me. Wellllll that’s not going to work despite the weight I gained.

Lets go back a little. You’re diagnosed with cancer. You meet your cancer team. On this team is a plastic surgeon. Why? Because the entire time your treatment is being discussed, reconstruction is always brought up. I met with my lovely plastic surgeon who advised either silicone implants (better for a reconstruction which is NOTHING like an augmentation) or if I could gain some weight, use my own tissue to rebuild. Never once was the option presented of not reconstructing.

Ok back to the present- I met with my plastic surgeon yesterday to discuss reconstruction using my own tissue. Not an option at this time. Time is of the essence for me (more on that later) So he immediately discusses silicone implants and of course he makes it all sound so simple and wonderful. However once again, for me I’m not comfortable with having implants. Yet I hear myself agreeing with him. I need time to decide I say. Alfred tells him the same. I crack some jokes on the way to my next appointment that I should just go big! Still in the back of my mind ran the “I don’t want implants”

When we got home I delved back into my going flat as they call it, research. I researched reconstruction yet again. I searched within me and what my gut was telling me. Something new for me, listening to myself and my gut instinct. So despite “growing my boobs ” these past 6 months with weight gain (steroids really do make one gain weight) I’ll be sticking to my gut instinct. No DIEP , well then no reconstruction.

Now for some of you reading this you’ll be shocked. No breasts ?!? For me it isn’t worth the anxiety of implants to have foobs that don’t matter at this stage. I’m nearly 50. Were I 20 years younger? Whole different story, maybe.

Reconstruction is nothing like a “boob job” where you’re getting larger breasts. There’s no breast tissue left to work with. With that it leaves us open to complications after reconstruction that require more surgery. Quite frankly, I’ve had enough. So for me it’s remove the tissue expanders (painful little bastards that they are) tighten up my chest so it’s flat and do the import thing- remove my ovaries/uterus to prevent that cancer and move forward with my life. I’m not alone in the going flat after mastectomy.  Only about 56% of women choose to reconstruct after. So why is it such a big secret when you choose to stay flat? Once again, that’s societal pressure. We’re supposed to have breasts. Won’t you feel incomplete without them? Hell no, mine tried to kill me!! But curves!! Have you seen my ass? I’ve got curves covered.

Flat and sassy.

As always- #FuckCancer


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