Please, stare at me a little longer!

After months of being bald, I have gotten a little fed up with scarves.  My preference now is baseball hats.  I mean, I will wear a scarf with certain outfits, but a baseball cap is easier and cooler.  Cooler is important because one, I live in Florida and two, I have hot flashes that could melt an ice berg.  In fact, I could probably be considered a cause to global warming.  Let me tell you, when a hot flash hits, I want nothing on my head or the rest of me for that matter, but that’s frowned upon in public- hell people lose their shit over a breastfeeding boob, they’d go postal over a hot flashy naked lady fanning herself.  Not that I have boobs so maybe I’d get a pass?  Anyhow, you can totally tell when I am in a hat that I am bald.  Not to mention, I frequently remove my hat when I am out.  Because I am hot.  Well let me tell you, some people aren’t very discreet when it comes to gawking.  I guess that’s why its called gawking.  The only reason I notice people staring is either they’ve managed to catch my eye or my honey gets upset because someone is staring.  When I catch people, I make eye contact and smile real big at them.  If they smile back, we’re golden.  If they don’t…well I never really had much of a filter between my brain in my mouth but I have always engaged it enough to keep things polite.  I do believe chemo has disintegrated my filter.  Oh hell, who am I kidding, fucking cancer did that!  So if you don’t smile back at me after you’ve made me notice you staring, I am going to say something.  Usually along the lines of “haven’t you seen a bald woman before?” which usually makes the person look away or run away.  HA! Don’t be so rude then with your staring, I mean seriously a bald woman and you can’t figure out why she might be bald? Or maybe that it really is rude as hell to stare?

Speaking of bald, I really am curious what’s going to grow back in.  Evidently cancer patients have had hair of a total different color and texture grow back.  They even have a name for the curls that may come in – Chemo Curls.  Personally I hope mine comes in either all blonde (hey may as well have something completely wild!) or just all gray since I have been graying for a decade now.  Its funny, I have never shied away from a short hair style before, but dammit if bald isn’t just frigging weird.  I feel for men, really I do.  For women its really unnatural.  Throw in there no eyebrows or eyelashes and I really look like an alien.  I keep saying my eyes without eyelashes look reptilian.  I already have small, slanted eyes.  No eyelashes just makes them look smaller!

So next time you are out and you see a bald woman, don’t stare.  Just smile at her and maybe she’ll smile back.  It may be the only smile of the day given what she is going through.

As always #FuckCancer


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