So I was quite relieved that I did not have to have radiation. For whatever reason the whole thought terrified me.
Then I was introduced to Chemotherapy. Literally introduced as in I had to take a class on it. On what you can and can’t eat. What you should drink and not. Oh and the side effect list is quite long. Daunting. Not that you’re guaranteed to have to deal with them all. My list of side effects?
- Dizziness- to the point I can’t walk
- Extreme fatigue
- Low blood pressure-that requires IV fluids
- Mouth sores
- Sore gums/teeth
- Metallic taste
- Hot flashes
- Body aches
- Low blood counts (leaving you with no immune system)
I’m having the most difficulty with the dizziness and fatigue. It’s debilitating. I am frequently too weak to do much more than just deal with the side effects. I’ve needed help getting up off the bathroom floor before, after a bout of extreme weakness.
It blows. Losing your independence. It’s frightening, knowing what the toxic chemicals are doing to your healthy cells. It’s a double edge sword. You want to get the chemo done to kill the beast that’s trying to get you. Then your blood counts drop too low and you can’t receive chemo that week-and a tiny part of you thinks oh, a break! And the other part says SHIT no chemo to beat back the beast.
I did eventually make it through all 12 rounds of the Taxol/Carboplatin. I had three delays due to low counts. But I did it.
Off to rest. Lightheaded today 😣